hello!

I'm lifeless man, and my attitude is getting bad.
Due to some problems though, sheesh, cannot say.
Hmph, I'm purple today, and I hate it.
Haiy..
drift drift drift, was what i'm thinking all the time.

I just wanna scream, but I know ppl will call me crazy.
I just wanna cry, but I know it's pointless.
I just wanna be alone, and I'm always alone.
I just wanna have some space, but I know I can't get it through,
because, I'm drifting apart..

Haiy, just throw it away..
I wanna blow already can!
...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conclusion : I'm not happy.

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! ><
Another artist added me in DA!!
I'm extremely happy, it makes my day. Eek!

Okay, this is it. I wondered why, ppl have to spam other's blog just because of such small matters. CHILDISH & Arrogant =.= Those ppl surely had nth to do, rather than study or read books stuffs. Like Wanli had said, using vulgar language just before CNY was..bad.
Or even bad luck for the whole year..
They said it, & they shall have it;D


I know I shouldn't, but I can't control myself,
Especially to you.

-------------------------------------------
14 more days to go, for my infinity.

hehe?

Chapter 3 will be posted NEXT MONTH.
I have no feels to post it recently.
I'm lost[;

Upon thinking now, I knew there was fun, upset & unhappy things happening in this month, right now. I felt that something was wrong, as if they were bullets shooting behind my back. It kinda sad, when I also thought that, anyone or anybody who I knew, might begin hating me days by days. I was so scared, until my hands were trembling. I AM a HUMAN, I do have feelings for myself, what I wanna be, what I'm doing, nothing can stop me from doing it. It's as if you love to insult others, but ppl didn't like it. But you don't even care, because YOU are the one who controls yourself, not others controlling you, so, YEAH. If anything you didn't like him/her doing this, please, talk nicely to them, and tell them, don't do that, it's not nice for you to this. ANGRY, ANNOYED, are the first word thinking inside you, yes why?

I shall not say it. YOU SHOULD KNOW THE ANSWER VERY WELL[:
Please do understand, what my true feeling is..
To be honest, I'm really really very upset. And disappointed..

currently, i'm blue.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks & ..sorry/;
nth to say anymore.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah, I'm going to tell a story about a girl who loves to accuse people in agony..HERE IT IS.

This girl, was a so-called a very extreme gossiper, who had said many so NOT nice opinions about the people around her. And, some of her friends had changed their thoughts of her. Hence, they ended their lovely[?] friendships with her.(NICE ONE MAN!) Then, one normal day, somebody went to the computer & hacked her account. (Very good, she deserved it xD) She was miffed and she thought that was a friend of hers had hacked it, as she was the one who had been told to help to make a blogskin. The evil go- nononono, I shall named her Miss. G[gossip]. Miss.G messaged her friend & accused her. It was so sudden, and the poor friend was being accused by this fellow Miss.G! What a grief! However, her friend was not affected by Miss.G, and began to shoot back to clear her innocence. But, Miss.G was very stubborn, she insisted that her friend was the culprit. Fuming by the words and language, the poor friend decided to tell her friends about it. The poor friend of Miss.G, shall be called the ANGEL.

Her friends were very astonish to know this, and began to 'fight back' too. ANGEL's friend, friend A, helped her by telling Miss.G that ANGEL was not the one who hacked her account, and told her do not anyhow accuse others without reasons. Soon, Miss.G replied very rudely, and scolded the friend A. MISS.G WAS FAR TOO IRRITATED!!! The next day, when they saw each other, they glared at the same time, and yelled back. But, we knew that, the friend A shouted the loudest;D (you go, girl!)

Soon, but not so soon, after a few peaceful days. ANGEL & her clique were in a toilet, because her another friend, friend B, needed to change her attire. then when she came out, she was a little shocked to see that the MISS.G~ and her friends were outside while she was changing. (Aren't they silly, there were so many toilets in school, but yet they chose in OUR toilet. BAKA!) She went out swiftly, and began to discuss about what to do later. Just then, ANGEL had stated that MISS.G had still not given her the bag pack she bought from her. So, friend B went to the toilet again and asked the MISS.G.

Knowing that they shouldn't talk like as if they were good friends, friend B stood in front of MISS.G & started to ask about the bag pack. Miss.G was froze at first, & replied casually to friend B. Right after that, they were looking at each other, and Miss.G almost like ordering friend B to go away.(HOW RUDE!) Friend B almost glared at her, told her that she was going off, and also told her not to complain. You know why? Because she don't have the right! When she was back to ANGEL & others, she told them MISS.G was giving crazy attitude. HAHA.



The moral of the story, CRAZY AND ANNOYING ATTITUDE CAN MAKE PPL DETEST YOU.

Beware, Miss.G, when you go home, you must watch behind you everytime.. *evil grins*




END OF STORY; Fin. [;[;[;

TOMORROW!

The story ; Life's Never gets better, the chapter 2 will be posted on the following day.
Whoops, haha[: So, I only post a little of it.

Chapter 2 : This way of my life.

No way. I guessed to have a crush on somebody must be
so..in it. This strong feeling couldn't help it, it was impenetrable. He came
in, he rolled his eyes in an obvious way. Of course, the fangirls sure were
annoying. As the pretty boy passed by me, the scent of him almost made me
fainted, so did the whole girls in the class, except for Nina, she was one hard
girl. For a few seconds, then I noticed that I had dropped my purple
notebook.

As I was flipping my books to refer the chapter of
the topic we were going to know today, I heard the sound of pushing the chair
that was behind me. Nina(who always sits beside me in class) called me, she was
half-crazy, and pointed to the one who was behind me. I took a peep behind me,
and I gasped, and much of surprises. It was him, again, who sat behind me, FOR
ONCE OF MY LIFETIME!!! This was so insane, I thought this was a dream, but if it
was, oh God please, don't wake me up..

TO be continued...



--With love, Carrie♥. >///<

Chapter 2!;DDD

Life's Never gets Better

Chapter 2 : This way of my life

No way. I guessed to have a crush on somebody must be so..in it. This strong feeling couldn't help it, it was impenetrable. He came in, he rolled his eyes in an obvious way. Of course, the fangirls sure were annoying. As the pretty boy passed by me, the scent of him almost made me fainted, so did the whole girls in the class, except for Nina, she was one hard girl. For a few seconds, then I noticed that I had dropped my purple notebook.

As I was flipping my books to refer the chapter of the topic we were going to know today, I heard the sound of pushing the chair that was behind me. Nina(who always sits behind me in class) called me, she was half-crazy, and pointed to the one who was behind me. I took a peep behind me, and I gasped, but much of surprises. It was him, again, who sat behind me, FOR ONCE OF MY LIFETIME!!! This was so insane, I thought this was a dream, but if it was, oh God please, don't wake me up..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The class was boring, and I could see that most people in the class was dying of boredom. When Mr Hyde was looking away, I would use the chance to peep behind. He was so serious, as if he was so attentive. The look in his eyes was fabulous, it was icy blue, filled with cold and darkness. Every movement he did, was charming and strike-looking, I couldn't help but staring at him. A very short while, he looked up at me, raising one of his eyebrows, and he began to speak. "Do you need something?" I didn't listen to him, he was too good for his looks. "Hey, do you need anything? And please, say something." I was back to reality, noticed that he was actually talking to me. I flushed deeply, and I replied very quickly,"O-oh, nothing!" He seemed miffed. Too embarrassed for myself, I turned back in light speed version. Oh no, I was so afraid that he might think that I was annoying, trying to act like those fangirls of his, or even worse, detested me! My head was in a mess, I didn't what to do.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Class almost ended, and I thought,What? This is it? MY DREAM HAS ENDED, I'M GOING TO BE AWAKENED? I couldn't control myself but took a quick look on him again. But, there were couples of girls surrounded him and I really couldn't see him. I sighed deeply, maybe I should get out NOW.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I could hear the mumblings & giggles from those girls. Their tone had changed so swiftly that it was totally two different people. One of them was a girl who always annoys me, and I supposed, she seemed to dislike me, for some reasons which I didn't know. Ashley Weeber, the so-called the very shooty girl in the school, always wears mini-skirts & tight blouse as if she was going to secure the guys. Normally she did offend people who were 'weak',but they didn't even bother to talk back. Many guys did date her before, but were ditched by her after a few days, poor guys. And, for girls, many did admire her, but others are either detested, or afraid of her. Her two other good friends, Lily Floyd and Jasmine kimmel, were trying to be like Ashley too, except for the ways of talking to Ashley, as they were frightened to make her annoyed or angry. What the..? Don't these girls had pride?! Together, Ashley, Lily and Jasmine were known as the infamous 'A.L.J babes'. Erm...

Okay, where was I..Oh yes, the girls surrounded the guy who I had a crush on.. Mainly, it was the same questions,"Will you be my boyfriend, please..?" "Come on, let's go out!" "Have a nice date with me, I beg you~" I was filled with disgusts and truely, I wanna puke. If anybody was going to talk to me in this way, I sweared I would vomit in front of his/her shirt! And, the response would always be, "No." So..cold. "Please, move aside." That would be his one and only response, nice one! But, the girls won't give up, especially Ashley, she clinged her arm on him and whispered, almost a whisper,"Hey, you're too cold, you must be socialised with people, like me. Right, Lance honey?"
Oh, YEAH, his name was Lance, Lance Lowrance. Even his name was so..unbearable.
"Don't touch me, and don't call me honey, it's disgusting," he almost snarled, and he just went out of the class, like that. I heard Ashley was groaning, and her friends were trying to chill her alittle. But it had no effect on her, instead, she glared at me with her dark, brownish eyes. I scowled back at her, wondering why she stared at me like that, it was as if, she got a grudge with me. Then, she seemed to mumbler something and she just left off, followed by her clique, I looked at her in debrief. Lily and Jasmine shot me dark glares too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soon, it was lunchtime. I took my lunchbox unwillingly, which was my mum had prepared for me, and hurried to the table that Nina and the others were sitting. Once I settled down, Nina gave me a boring look. "Don't tell me, tuna sandwiches plus slices of tomato and lettuce in it?" Wow, bingo. "You're..right again." I took a bite on my sandwich, the same old taste..

While we were eating, Ada started the conversation. "So, how's your lesson with Lance sitting behind you?" I pretended that I didn't hear her. Nina hit my back out of sudden,which I choked and it was so shocked that I screamed. Couples of attention was on me now, I was deeply red when I realised this. I glared at Nina, and she put her hand on her forehead and give an apologetic sign. I snorted, this was so embarrassing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
French lesson was next, and I'm a little glad. Because I knew that somebody would always made me laughed endlessly..
"Hey belle, alors comment est votre journée?" "Pas bon, pas bon du tout .." I sighed. "W-why?" the somebody looked at me in concern. "Because, I really don't know how to explain it, Richie."
Richardine Crossroad, the slacker who always makes me my days full of sunshine, I knew him since in the high school and he was my first partner for English lesson. He was quite good looking, and charming, there were girls who were crazy about him, but not as much than..Lance of course. In the first place, I couldn't understand why he chose to talk to an imperfect girl like me. But still, I'm not bothered by it. I called him Richie, instead of Richardine, as requested by him.
Class was so fine, except for Richie's lame jokes. He was such a joker, I couldn't pay much attention to the teacher and I was just laughing all the way, sounded severed as I had forgotten to copy the notes.Whoops.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I met Nina at the stairways, as expected. She waved at me with a ecstatic face, but in a flash, when she saw Richie, who was only behind me, I saw a small pink blushing on her face, could it be..
Richie waved back at Nina, that was not actually waved to him. "Hey, Babe." Nina almost froze. "Erm, H-hi." Richie looked at her almost closely, and touched her forehead. This scared her alittle. "Hey, I was wondering, why you're red over your whole face..and also, you're as shy as always." Nina had a very red tomato face right now, I cut in. "Hey hey, I think she's not feeling well, I would take care of her, you go to your next class, you're going to be late soon." He looked at the clock, and shouted,"OH MY GOSH! I'M GONNA TO BE LATE, MRS OLIVIA WILL KILL ME! So, later, girls." He was gone for a few seconds.

Nina, who was stunned now, couldn't control herself. She kept whispering(not wanting to let me know) about Richie had touched her forehead. "Richardine touched my forehead, Richardine touched my forehead, he actually touched my forehead, Oh my GOD!" She squeaked. I grimaced at her, this was too over.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rest of the classes were pretty normal, I could know that nothing expectant had happened. Nina and I was walking along the corridors, we had decided to go to the library for some projects from Science. "Feldt?" "Yeah? What is it?" "Do you think that love can be so heart-warming?" I stared blankly at her. "Well, I don't know. You should ask Ada or Clarine, they should know more better than us." "Um, o-okay.." I had been thinking, whether Nina had a crush on Richie. I walked in front in a swift and faced right in front of her. She frowned. "What?" "Nina,tell me honestly," i continued."You like Richie, don't you?" She suddenly flushed."I-I don't know what are you talking about." I sighed."You DO like him." From a question to a teasing subject, we had some small arguments, which was funny at the same time. I said Nina did like Richie, but she kept insisting that she didn't like him. "Oh come on, don't be stubborn!" I almost growled. "Okay okay, I'll say it!" She finally surrendered, nice try. She did say something while we were walking(still in front of Nina facing her), but it was inaudible. I snorted."Louder!"

"I still can't hear you.." I did this on purpose, I knew I was evil. I continued walking with my back on the front, and I didn't know which direction must I go, all I knew was, to block Nina's way. "OKAY, Feldt, this is my last time." She spited. I looked at her with hope, this was it. "Well, I-I..actually, I li-HEY WATCH OUT, BEHIND YOU!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I quickly turned to the front and I had bumped onto somebody, and his paper were all flying around, his books were dropped to the ground, with the 'BANG!'
I thought I was going to fall on the ground, but, I was not. There was something, wrapping me as if it was protecting me. No, not something but somebody, because it was warm, and felt so..nice too.
I could feel the breath that was above my head, and the stroking of the fingers on my elbows, it tickled a little.

I opened my eyes slowly, I knew that after this I must apologise to the guy because of my carelessness. Plus, his papers and books, too. I began to speak,"Um, thanks. And, so sorry.." I looked up very slowly, wondering who that guy was.

I blinked furiously, that icy blue eyes of that guy, the cold expression on his face, the so extreme good-looking appearance of his, LANCE LOWRANCE?! OH..MY GOD, this was way too far, way way too far! My emerald eyes met his, we looked at each other, so closely. It was as if my eyes were communicating with his. To be honest, this was the first time, I was so close to him..OH..NO.

Chapter 3, the following thursday[: , 15TH Jan.
Fin.

A piece of mine[;

Life's Never gets Better

Chapter 1 : Everything starts here

"Hello. This is the stars mega service centre, may I help you?" I froze. "Hello? This is the stars mega service centre, ma-" I hung the phone before the other line finished her sentence. Oh great, Nina gave me another wrong number, again. Why, she must always ruin my days?(this recent) I swear, I'll never trust her for now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally the next day, school. Yeah, school, my unwilling & the most hateful place ever, the Stavros Hill High School. It was sure not because of my studies, but it's because of.. well~ School was nothing but a fraud. Gossips, rumours, jealousy & lots lots more, it would be sure that mostly everyone was fighting for school popularity.

Ohh, I almost forgot to introduce myself, my name's Feldt Hayler, I'm currently in the 12th grade. I have a pair of nagging but caring parents, but no siblings(and I always yearn for an older brother). I had a golden brown long hair, and my height is average. I love music, as if it was a part of my life. I do have friends too(obviously) and I'm single, as always. Talking about being attached or single, things sometimes sure cracked out of my head, a feeling that could be sweet, but also could be in pain too. Honestly, I was envy of my friends, most of them were going out with their guys, added a teaspoon of sweetness and be lovey-dovey. The good thing was, I was happy for them. But The bad/sad thing was, I couldn't be lovey-dovey.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
About 20minutes the lesson was about to start, I was walking motionlessly towards the classroom, then suddenly, I could feel a hand was tapping my left shoulder. It was Nina, Nina Fiennes, my best [girl]friend since we were in the first year of our middle school, and that was when both of us were being tortured[?] by a senior ganggirl for nothing! And, we were told to do her homework secretly, that when we started to meet each other, in a strange way, yes, because I asked her something stupid, "Hello, why you're joining with me and suffer in this hell?" At first, silence, but Nina suddenly burst out laughing. "You know, you're sure one interesting girl." I was red of course, it was obvious that she was like me, being a victim of this stuffs.We became friends and we had never argue before, still now, never. She knew all my secrets, so did I. She was a girl who cared much about her friends, especially me. A thing about her was she was not a nerd, but she acting like one, she scored high marks for almost all subjects, after school went to the library(if she wants) and read all sorts of books. And also, I admired her long, shiny blonde hair, it suited her so much. And because of her hair, she might have stolen few of the guys' heart.
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Good Morning Feldt! Oh, come on. Let's go back to class! The lesson will be history later, and there'll be a test about lasy week's topic, so le- " I scowled at her, upon thinking about yesterday, I had dialled a wrong number and that was thanks to Nina. "Okay okay, my bad! I apologise. But this's what those guys had given this number to me." "Oh god, you trusted those guys, they are giving the wrong number of course! I thought that it was going to be.. his number.." I said in a lowly voice. "Whoo~♪ Somebody's blushing!" "I'M NOT!!" "You are!" "NOT!" "Oh YESSS you are!" "Grrr, this is stupid, come on, let's headed to the class." I growled.

Damn Nina, she almost let the whole school knows about it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We scrolled to the class, the teacher, Mr Hyde was not there, maybe he was
late again, GREAT. Soon as I came in to class, the other two of my friends, they were Ada Peries and Clarine Poler(which I had mentioned about their guys stuffs) came to me like they did not seen me for a few decades. "FELDTTT!!" Clarine cried, almost shouted. I raised one eyebrows at her, giving her a are-you-crazy-or-something look. Then Ada cleared her throat, about to say something. "Well, things are like this. Clarine's boyfriend had bought something sweet to her yesterday, and she was too surprise that she couldn't say a word. And when she's at home, she can't be too happy for her life." I smiled at Clarine, I felt happy for her. Yeah.. If only I also had one too..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"OH MY GODDDDDDD!!! Ahh!" "He's soooo cuteee!" We heard tons of fangirls' screams, coming out from outside our class, it seemed like there one popular sight over there. The annoying screams was getting nearer and nearer, I wondered who that [lucky]guy was. I began to take out the materials I needed for later's lesson."Erm, Feldt?" Nina called me, but I was busying taking out stuffs from my bag. "What?" I said a slighter louder. "Don't faint if you look there," she pointed at the front door of the class. I looked as told, and suddenly, I was stunned,my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't take my eyes off. It was actually him, no way..he, the most popular and the most gorgeous, the only icy cold-blooded guy in Stavros Hill High School,and...I..

For a moment, I felt that my heart started to melt.

END OF CHAPTER 1.
Chapter 2, ON Saturday, 10th Jan[:

stupid carrie,
pls update._.
Lol.
pigpig.
oinkoink.
lazylazy.


(Lol!)
oinkoink here.
babypig ♥.